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Viewing entries tagged with 'certainty'

The metaphor of an on-screen keyboard

Posted by Philip on 19 August 2017, 12:42 pm in , , ,

Although my vlog got a fair bit of engagement (57 views — not exactly viral), I actually miss writing. So I'm using my mouse with an on-screen keyboard to write this. It's a bit slower than typing with my right hand, but a little more accurate I think. So all in all, it probably averages out around the same.

on-screen keyboard

Today marks the beginning of the sixth week without the proper/usual use of my right hand. I've had a diagnosis of radial nerve dysfunction and a prognosis of 6-12 weeks for it to heal (although some bastard on Facebook said he had it for 5 years — thanks for sharing, it made my day).

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The courage (and opportunity) to not know

Posted by Philip on 29 May 2017, 3:25 pm in , , , , , , , ,

When it comes to the future, we're pretty conditioned to expect certainty. Whether it's what we're going to say next, what's happening tomorrow, what the outcome of a project is going to be, or what life will be like in five years time, we want to know beforehand. We crave certainty.

Expectations are the outcome of this need to know what's going to happen before it does — and anxiety about things not going to plan.

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Grappling with myself

Posted by Philip on 21 May 2017, 1:36 pm in , , , ,

Nearly two months after getting my new car, I'm still deeply uncomfortable about driving it. Partly this is because of the things that have gone wrong since I've had it — being unable to get out of it and, as recently as last Monday, not being able to get in.

However, I also feel nervous driving it. It's very different than my Mazda, which I've had for around 10 years. From memory I felt much more confident driving it when I first got it, but maybe I've just forgotten. 

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The picture is always bigger

Posted by Philip on 9 May 2017, 10:15 am in , , , , , , , , ,

My $100k+ car is still not sorted. I still have to clumsily put a key in the ignition. The dealers are working on it — it's gobbly gook to me, except the fact that they're having to liaise Germany to solve it.

I've been wrestling with the urge to get annoyed with them and become a pain in their backside but, realistically, they seem to be doing all they can in the circumstances.

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2017 — a year of change

Posted by Philip on 20 January 2017, 11:06 am in , , , , , ,

We're twenty days into 2017 and I can't believe how much change has happened in my life. I've started a new relationship. I've had a young rabbit turn up, which I looked after for a couple of weeks before finding another home for him. My boarder has moved out after four years, so I have my house to myself again, and I've created a whole new "chill-out" space with the extra room.

A cosy room with tv, couch and pittosporum hedge out the window

My new cosy nook — a work in progress

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Five reasons to embrace conflict

Posted by Philip on 31 October 2016, 5:37 pm in , , , , , , ,

Conflict — it's easy to avoid. In fact, we often do anything we can to avoid it (well, I do). Often that means not doing anything.

Six people sit, three each on both sides of a table. Centre couple arm-wrestle.

Within the last 24 hours I was involved in a conflict situation with a colleague. I won't go into the detail — it's irrevelent. But the process the two of us went through — an action, a reaction by me that created conflict and then a conversation to come to a resolution — reminded me that, even though it is acutely uncomfortable, when handled constructively, conflict can have truly positive outcome.

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Remembering my purpose — revisited

Posted by Philip on 7 October 2016, 2:45 pm in , , , , , , , ,

Last week I blogged about my purpose. I said I felt purposeless, and wondered if being purposeless was, in fact, my purpose for now.

I've changed my mind. I wonder if surrendering my purpose was part of rediscovering it. I also wonder if my parents bringing a whole lot of newspaper clipping from when I was born has helped me remember.

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Is this my life?

Posted by Philip on 6 August 2016, 1:19 pm in , ,

I've been saying to people lately, "I feel like I'm living someone else's life." Do you ever feel like that? If you do, you'll know how unsettling it is. My attempts at working out what's going on have been in the main unsuccessful, but I have a few theories.​

I wonder if it's my age – a mid-life crisis perhaps. After all, I do turn 50 next year. But I have no compunction to buy a red sports car.​​

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The unexpected consequences of uncertainty

Posted by Philip on 19 April 2016, 12:35 pm in , , , ,

It has been a week since the car accident and I've been surprised how much it has affected me. Someone said on Facebook to look after myself, and I didn't really pay much attention.

Cute funny little boy with an umbrella

But I have had to give myself a bit of TLC. I've found myself playing the accident over in my head, so I've had to remind myself not to retraumatise myself (the brain doesn't realise the difference between an actual event and a memory).

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Uncertainty in action

Posted by Philip on 12 April 2016, 9:39 am in , , , ,

Yesterday I was involved in a three- or four-car accident on the north-western motorway. I was on the way to a shoot for a new It's Not OK anti-domestic violence commercial. I didn't make it to the shoot.

As I've been thinking about uncertainty a lot the past few weeks, it felt a bit divine to have such a stark experience of uncertainty meet me me head-on (luckily, not literally). But, in fact, the accident could have been really serious, especially for the young guy who caused it — he walked away unscathed despite his car being totalled after careering across three lanes of traffic twice and ending up plowed into the median barrier facing the wrong way. No one else was injured, including Sam and me.

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